SEXUALITY

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Nick Pedro
07/02/2006 04:42 PM

To:stforum@sph.com.sg


Subject:SEXUALITY

To The Forum,

I refer to the letter by Dr Gabriel Oon Cheong Jin, on “Sexuality workshop an eye-opener for teens” yesterday. The way I read the letter it seems that this issue may have traumatized your good self. This is especially so when you generalized “sexually active young” and that “like in my time, masturbation and homosexuality behaviour were not rare in the schools”. I totally agree with sending the messages on pre-marital sex, use of contraception, abortions, stem cell research, hazards in smoking, consumption of drugs, “gangsterism” and suicidal tendencies be introduced to upper secondary and tertiary and even to universities. However, the degree and manner in which Family Life Society need to introduce need to be “milder” and superficial. Such lessons cannot be taught with both genders present. Simple messages “Do not smoke, it is hazardous to health” is enough a message. You may note that it is always easy to bring the horse to the water but you cannot force it to drink the water. Therefore how detailed and descriptive the messages can be it cannot be hammered in if the children are not willing to listen. We also must be aware that this is not for all children. However, we need to identify the children that may need this “lecture”. I think this is a bigger problem and need professionals and social workers and individual counseling. Can we afford the time and money? Any way, these teenagers are aware of these if they are able to learn and understand grammar, living organisms and algebra. I am sure you do not have to be a young medical student to know about sexual diseases. Teenagers also knows that plastic tears and shears therefore the best contraceptive is “refrain” for teenagers and singles and “spouse” for married couple.Actually, I should have started with, “Why the urgency to learn about sexuality?” Can someone enlighten me? Is there a crisis? Is there any statistics to show problems with teenagers or adults on sexuality? Why the fuss, suddenly?Basically, if there is ever such a problem, we have become no different than western countries. There they have accepted it as a norm. Here we are steadfast in our cultural and traditional values. As we learn languages as in mother tongue, these values must be subtly inculcated. The most “primal” need of children is parental love. Parents have the first responsibility and should not shove it and blame on society or education should anything befall on their children. We were all children once and we need to understand our children from that standpoint. We always “disown” the children when we call them “teenagers”. They are still our children all the same. Most of the parents love the pseudonym “independent”. This is a very dangerous word in the sense you are telling the child indirectly “I do not care”. I feel that if you would give love to the child, he or she will reciprocate this love. Nowadays the parents have very little time for their children. Both of them are working and when they are at home the children are out for tuition or with friends. I can easily say the children would therefore acquire 90% of their knowledge from friends than from parents. If they find good friends, everything is fair and well, but what if they have friends that are not!




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